There have been many people in my life who I have told the truth too on how I felt about them. It never worked out for me at all. There were a few girls in high school, and two in college so far, that I expressed my inner most self, and all I got in return was a pat on the back, and a good try. Because this is a personal blog post to me, and I have nothing to hide from anyone... I'm going to tell you about them all! (Now if any person who is reading this, is one of the people who I did this too, don't worry, no names, just situations.)
First one was right when I got into high school. Liked this girl in a few of my classes. Really pretty you know, first high school crush. Well I was nervous, but I did talk to her, with a lot of help from my friends, telling her stuff about me. She didn't bite, and then went out with a guy a year older than us, and they are still together to this day. (That's a reoccurring theme here. Shortly after I ask someone out, they always then get another guy as their boyfriend.
(There were two more, that fall under this category, that I was going to write about, but I chose not to for personal reasons. Maybe one day I will, but not now. Not that it is too emotional or painful, but they are long, and can 'kick some dust up', if you know what I mean!)
Then the next year I liked this girl who was a few of my classes. I talked to her more than the previous girl to try and not have the same results... well that didn't work out. I kinda told her how I felt, and the how school knew how I felt, cause I told my friends, and they gossiped like there was no tomorrow. She then went after a guy that was a year older again, and again they are still going out!
Then the next year came the big one guys. The real high school crush. There was this girl, that I had known for the previous two years, who was just beautiful. They broke the mold when they made her, believe me when I say that! I got to really know her real well, as we finally had classes together. I asked her out in February after months of talking inn school, and through texting, but I was literally a week too late, she already had a boyfriend, from the crosstown rival high school. I was so upset man. I later heard in November that she was single, I asked her again, but she was still taken by the same guy. Then we went to Disney with our school, and had a great time together, but she was still taken, so it felt wrong. Recently, I asked her out again, because now she was single, but no cigar there. Honest to God, I'm not giving up hope on this one guys.
Then I got to college, and met some wonderful people in June. There was this one girl that I met, that as soon as I saw her I was taken so aback you know. We talked and talked for days on end through text, as the big day approached when we were all back together. When school started again, I told her how I felt. Now I told you guys how I felt with the previous girl, but this girl made me feel a whole gamut, (big word right!), of other amazing things man. She didn't feel the same, and then pushed me away for another guy, and stopped talking to me! It's not like I did anything wrong to her. I have been nothing but nice the whole time! I stuck up for her so many times in our classes that we had together, when people wanted to kill her for her views. I did a lot for her, but I got treated like shit! That one still stings, not going to lie here!
Then I met this other girl who was so nice you know. We got to talking and even FaceTiming, now that had only happened with one other girl throughout high school, and that was for one of the cheerleaders, who always asked me for the physics answers! Anyways, We got really close, and I asked her out, and guess what guys, it was a no! She was already seeing a basketball player, and now she isn't talking to me for some God knows reason! Another one! (DJ Khaled baby)
The reason I talk about all this, is because it makes me wonder, am I good enough? The answer is yes, but just not in these situations you know. I have tried so hard all my life to be a kind individual, and always respectful. Always kept my head held high, and never been a bad guy, really, I mean that.
Problem is I never got the answer I was looking for. Now some of these girls that I liked, and there were a bunch more that I didn't include, were just a crush and that was it. But the others, especially the third and second to last ones were pretty important to me, and kinda hurt when it didn't happen.
But what needs to happen is perseverance. There needs to be a hunger in me not to settle, and there isn't, believe me on that one! Now the title of the post is should you tell people how you truly feel. I thought so, but it never worked out for me. Maybe it did for you.
But the thing we need to remember is that the truth always sets you free, but it doesn't always give you what you want!
Did you think that this was a good post idea? Don't you think I had a rough go of it?! Do you think that it will get better?
Peace and Love,
Quotes of the Day: "I have learned that to be with those I like is enough." - Walt Whitman
"None knows the weight of another's burden in life." - George Herbert
"To love abundantly is to live abundantly, to love forever is to live forever." - Henry Drummond